A Very California Christmas (And Some Big News)

After feeling all the bummed out feelings spending the holidays abroad last year, I decided to go back to California for my winter vacation.

Part of me felt like I was selling out or something, considering that I am a tireless adventurer committed to seeing the world. A bigger part of me wanted to cuddle with my dog.

So back to Huntington Beach I went. Honestly, I think it was the best decision I had made in a long time. It was great to see my family, my parents, old friends. It was weird to see how much my hometown had changed in the six years I had spent living in other places. I ate tacos, I went running with my dog, I drank egg nog with my cousins.

By the time I had to leave, I really wasn't ready to go. Two weeks wasn't long enough. I was already missing everyone by the time I was back on that plane. I even caught a nasty cold, as if my even my body was rebelling against the idea of leaving.

Don't get me wrong, now that I'm back in Kadogawa, it's wonderful. Everything is just as pleasant as it was when I left, and my house is great, and my hamster is cute and the students are hilarious. And it's nice speaking Japanese again, feeling like a smart, adventurous human and whatnot.

But honestly, if I'm thinking seriously about where I want to be in 2017, it's not Japan. I'm ready for something different, a new locale, a new language, even a new job. This visit really brought that to the forefront for me.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is this will be my last year on the JET Program. I'm heading back to the US in August to do something else.

I'm a little nervous, a little excited, but all in all, I'm ready for a new chapter.

After eight months, that is. Kadogawa's not done with me just yet.

Downtown Main Street in Huntington Beach

Sammy and Allison eating cronuts"

The Federal Bar in Long Beach

Duke's in Huntington Beach

Espresso in Los Angeles

Amy Poehler's (my hero!) star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Los Angeles traffic

Filbeys in Tokyo

Lately, things in my life have been slowing down a bit. School is officially out for summer next week, there was a 4.7 earthquake on Sunday and there's supposed to be a big typhoon tomorrow.

Just another summer day on Kyushu.

Given so much free time, I realized that I never got around to posting about my super fun trip with my parents around Tokyo. We ate decadent sushi, explored museums at Ueno Park, saw the amazing view from Tokyo tower, visited the Gundam Cafe, had teppanyaki on the 51st floor of our hotel (with my limited Japanese skills, I grossly underestimated how much that adventure would cost) and generally just had some awesome family bonding time.

Sushi restaurants at the Tsukiji Fish Market.

Dad squeezed onto the subway.

A look at the Imperial Palace Garden. The palace was closed, but it was still nice to see a glimpse.

Heading to Ueno Park! It was raining the whole time we visited Tokyo, so we had to buy three umbrellas. I now have an abundance of umbrellas in my apartment. They came in handy during rainy season.

The amazing plesiosaur skeleton at the Japan Museum of Nature and Science.  

The Gundam Cafe, my first experience with Tokyo's famous themed cafe. I only knew that Gundam was an anime show about robots, and my parents had literally no idea what was going on. When we walked in, the hostess asked, "Do you like Gundam?" in Japanese, and I was responded with, "I didn't watch it..." It was awkward.

"Get a load of this metal menu, amirite?!"

Both my parents thought all the crazy characters scattered around Tokyo were pretty fun, especially when they talked and moved (like the one pictured above).

But there's no mascot more beloved in Dad's heart than the Colonel.  We thought they even looked similar.

Our hotel, which my father was very excited to stay at because of that little bridge connecting the two towers. He was really into the bridge. I liked the art pieces in the park below.

At the top of the hotel, they had a very swanky teppanyaki place. My parents, who love teppanyaki, encouraged me to check the prices. I misread the menu. So we accidentally splurged one night.

But it was worth it. The food was mouth-watering and the view was even better. 

 Finally, we finished our sightseeing with a trip to Tokyo tower, where we looked out upon the whole city, took photographs, and chatted with other foreigners who were also enjoying the view. Tourist traps are great for making friends with other tourists!

I've been feeling monumentally homesick lately, so looking at these photos just makes me want to give the folks a big hug! I'm looking forward to a trip back to California in December for the holidays, but I suppose it's still a long ways away.

Until then, I guess I'll just deal with this whole typhoon situation and plan for speech contests.

Good thing I have an abundance of umbrellas.

Brave Movinator: 5 Tips for Surviving A Big Move

Weird food. New house. Different people with different problems. Emotional roller coaster. 

These are the main ingredients of what I like to call "A Big Move." 

Speaking of which, I'm coming up on my year anniversary of living in Japan, my biggest big move. It's a strange feeling.

Sometimes I'll remember what it was like in my first month here and be simultaneously delighted and horrified by the level of enthusiasm (and confusion) I exhibited for literally everything that was Japan. Now I'm just sort of living. 

Isn't it surprising that it took me almost an entire year to get to that point?

Maybe. But maybe not.

I mean, I've had a lot of big moves in my life, and nearly all of them have left me feeling totally elated and totally destroyed. At this point, it's become a fairly predictable pattern. Living in a new place is hard-- especially within the first six months. Those months always seem to be a nightmare.

But, I feel as though the more I move around, the more accustomed I become to being one who moves. What would you call one who moves? A mover? A movestress? A movinator? That last one is probably right.

So, I thought it'd be helpful to post some of my favorite advice for dealing with the anxiety of finding yourself in a completely new place and not knowing what to do about it.

If you're applying to teach English abroad or planning to move to a new country (or even a new state!), I hope this helps you out. These little tidbits have certainly helped me deal with some major freak-outs in the past. 

Also snacks. Lots of snacks.

1. Try not to have expectations.

Every time I move to a new place, I visualize myself there, belonging there, being exactly the kind of person who has lived there her whole life. I imagine myself with tons of new, beautiful friends, twenty five pounds thinner, with a great paying job and several inches taller. I also usually am holding some sort of latte.

Between you and me, that's not a great way to walk into a potentially difficult life situation. It will leave you very disappointed (usually).

The thing is, moving is stressful. Beyond just the financial difficulties that come with a big move, moving tends to leave you without a support network (or at least, a support network that's fairly different than the one you've become accustomed to in your last home). 

So if you imagine yourself with those beautiful people and that latte, and find yourself broke and alone, wandering around in a strange new place, it can be a bit of a downer.

What's worked for me in the past is telling myself throughout the moving process that good or bad, this move is going to make my life more interesting in one way or another. Remember why you're moving in the first place when things get tough.

And if things never get tough for you, great! Count yourself very lucky!

2. Remember the 3-6-12 rule.

Give yourself three months to be irrational, six months to get settled in, and a year to make your new location feel like home.

It seems like whenever I move, I have three months of extreme highs ("I'm never leaving this perfect dreamland country!") and extreme lows ("No one in this terrible butthole country cares that I exist..."), which is followed by the six month mark where I kind of get what life is like ("It's really easy to take the bus to Fukuoka, see?"), to that magical year mark when I sort of feel like a local ("Oh, Kinoushita san owns the best vegetable shop in town!"). It's a bumpy ride, but I find that it seems to be very consistent.

However, these feelings can be very hard to handle if you're not anticipating them.

3-6-12 is a great rule to remember if you're just a few months into a big move and feel like you should be, well, happier. 

3. Say "yes" as much as possible...

I can't tell you how many weird adventures I've been on because I decided to say "yes" to odd invitations. 

For instance, a few months ago I went on a women's beauty retreat in Kadogawa and learned to "beautiful walk" and "small face massage" with forty strangers. I spoke only Japanese for two days, caught a glimpse of an endangered aquatic bird (we went bird-watching), and made really cool new friends! 

It was so strange. But the amount of satisfaction I felt for getting out of my comfort zone and handling everything made it all worthwhile.

What I've noticed is that I feel way more fulfilled when I fill my time with interesting experiences and funny stories, especially when I'm going through a big move. It makes me feel that I'm doing things I couldn't do in the place where I was before. It's a good feeling.

4. ...but don't forget to take a day off.

On the other side of the coin, it's also really easy to overbook yourself when you move to a new place because there's so much great new stuff to see and do.

"Of course I'll help with the community garden!"

"Volleyball for charity? Sign me up!"

"You want to go out drinking on a Tuesday night with your friend's ex-boyfriend, a librarian and an old war veteran named Cookie? Sounds like a blast!"

If you say yes to literally everything, sometimes you can stretch yourself a little thin.

Just be aware of yourself and your needs. If you need to skip that really great weekend trip because you haven't had a day to yourself all month, it's okay to do that. If you need to cancel on visiting friends tonight because you're practically falling asleep at work, that's okay too. 

Or if you're like me and you just need a break from speaking Japanese for a day, it's totally okay to skip calligraphy class once in awhile to get bundled up and watch Broad City in bed. 

"Calligraphy? Or raunchy lady-centric comedy?"

You're going through a lot right now. Be gentle with yourself.

5. Be true to you!

Just because you've moved to a new place doesn't mean you're a different person.

Repeat that to yourself. Then repeat it again.

If you like photography, take photographs. If you need to ride your bike to feel good, buy one and ride it. If you hate sports, but your new town is literally named Sportsville and no one does anything but play sports there, you still don't have to like sports.

I've made myself so miserable so many times by moving to a new place and completely changing myself to try to fit in. I've bought different clothes, stopped doing the things I liked, and pretending to like things that I really didn't care about, all in the name of making friends and fitting in. 

Let me save you some time. That doesn't work. 

I'm not trying to say you shouldn't try new hobbies or activities. People are constantly changing and growing, and a new move is a great time to try things out. Try the Singaporean cooking class! Take up the mandolin if you want to! 

I'm just saying that if you try those new exciting activities, and you don't enjoy them, don't keep doing them. Just be aware of yourself. Take note of what you find yourself actually enjoying, and what you're just doing because it feels like it's the big thing to do in your cool, new country.

Big moves are tough. A new place can make you feel anxious, depressed, alone, you name it. When culture shock hits, it can make life feel impossible. Difficult times bring out the worst and the best in people. 

I know. I've seen myself become a sad/angry weirdo many, many times.

But big move is also an amazing thing. It allows you to try new things, see new places, eat new foods, and just generally grow as a person. You'll do stuff your pre-move self would have never done, and I hope it makes you feel great.

So if you're embarking on a big move, congratulations! You're doing something very difficult and very worthwhile. If things get tough for you, remember these tips. 

Good luck, brave movinator! Or in the words of the original...

Hasta la movsta baby!

Winter Travels Pt. 5: Bali Belly and Other Woes

Spring is here! The weather is warming up, the sky is clear, my bike ride in the morning doesn't make my eyes water from the frigid wind flying into my face. Everything is coming up Lauren!

Yet, I've still left the last leg of my winter travels un-blogged. I was backpacking around Taiwan and Okinawa for the first six days of this trip, but the final ten days I actually spent in Indonesia. 

However, it's taken some time for me to want to write about this part of the excursion. Honestly, though it was a total blessing to experience Bali with Bridget and her sister, Philippa (who are wonderful people and a total blast!), this leg of the trip was a big pile of existential confusion and dramatic internal emotions for me. 

Being away from my town in Japan for so long made me reconsider wanting to be an Assistant Language Teacher. Prior to coming to Bali, I had thought I definitely wanted to stay in Kadogawa at least another year, possibly two more years.

 Then, for some reason, after a week of changed scenery, I sort of thought to myself, "Is this really who I am? What I want to do with my life? Why am I learning Japanese when everything in my past said that I should study art/acting/music/yada yada yada?"

It freaked me out a lot.

Though we had a ton of weird and interesting adventures in Bali (seeing The Hobbit in Kuta Beach/ spending New Years' Eve salsa dancing to a live Cuban band in Ubud/ swimming in our infinity pool at midnight under the palm trees/ drinking 'chakra soda' at this totally adorable organic hippie cafe in the middle of nowhere), so much of it was overshadowed by me doubting my life choices, and thinking about the future.

I was crippled by anxiety, reading as many Kindle self-help books as I could and trying to figure out what I was supposed to do.

It was helpful that my travel buddy, Bridget, was also sort of going through the same crisis. We're both fresh out of college and teaching in small towns, so we had a lot to talk about. By the end of the trip, she sort of helped me decide that I wouldn't stay in my town, and instead, would move onto a new opportunity. I was over it. 

I was sick of being away from California. I missed Mexican food and doing improv comedy. I had a severe case of diarrhea and a fever from the food I had eaten on my last day in Indonesia. I didn't want to travel anymore. I wanted to go home, spend time with my family, and kiss my dog on the nose. I had made a firm decision not to stay, and I was ready to say my goodbyes to Japan.

However, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry, as they say.

After returning to my life in Kadogawa, I changed my mind yet again.

My supervisor didn't ask me about whether or not I wanted to recontract for an entire month after I returned to Kadogawa. Within that time, I had a ton of great days at school with my students and teachers, and even more great experiences with my other ALT friends. I learned more Japanese, took up bouldering, started jogging every other day, and just generally began to enjoy my life situation more.

I think I had a lot of fear about not following my dreams of being an artist (whatever that means), and decided to move back to Los Angeles in a panic. I was afraid that what I was doing in Japan wasn't really what I should have been doing. 

I realized that in Japan, in this tiny fishing town, I'm learning so much about myself and about the world. I'm learning about what's important to me, and allowing myself the freedom to grow as a person. If I want to go back to LA eventually and study improv comedy or screenwriting or whatever it is I want to do, I can do that at any time. Now is the time to learn and breathe and discover myself outside the things I did as a sixteen year old. 

I'm only twenty two. I don't need to have it all figured out.

So for all those who were wondering about whether or not I'm staying in Japan, the answer is a resounding YES. No doubt about it. 

And I can thank Bali for that.