Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tears in the Parking Lot: Failing the Japanese Driving Test

Okay. I know what you're thinking. "Haven't you been driving in Japan for over a year now? What's up with this Japanese driving test thing? Why does this story deserve a space on such a carefully cultivated and high tech blog?"

Believe me. It's a good story.

As an American ALT, I basically get one year to drive around with an "International Driving Permit." It's a handy document that gives me permission to drive anywhere in the world even if I don't know the rules of the road, even if I've never driven on the left, even if I have three arms and only one eyeball.

However, once that year is up, you no longer have a license. You're done. Poof.

ALTs from other countries can go to the DMV, fill out some paperwork, and get a whole new license. American ALTs, however, are not that lucky. We have to take a driving test.

"Driving test?" you say incredulously. "But I thought you've already been driving here for a year!"

Right. Which is why you think the driving test would be easy. Or at least, not nightmarish.

I was once like you. Naive. I thought driving tests were supposed to measure your ability to drive.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It all started when my coworker Haruka took me to turn in the preliminary paperwork. The guy checking my passport behind the counter asked me the normal questions ("Why did you go to China so much?"), before saying that foreigners ALWAYS fail the driving test.

"But I've been driving in Japan for a year now! How could I fail?" I protested.

"Well, you're not used to driving on the left," he replied.

I grit my teeth. "I've been DRIVING in JAPAN on the LEFT for a YEAR. I think it'll be fine," I say indignantly.

"Well, you'll probably drive too fast."


Fast forward to Sunday back at the DMV, where my friend Chris and I are taking a driving lesson together. I feel that a driving lesson is an unnecessary expense ($60 USD!), but after hearing all the other Miyazaki ALT driving test horror stories, I decide it might be better to be safe than sorry.

The driving test teaches us how to drive the course perfectly. We memorize exactly where we should use our turn signal, exactly where we should check our blind spots, exactly how many meters from the curb we should be at every moment of the course.

At the end of the lesson, I turn to our driving teacher, Suda San.

"Thank you very much for that great lesson! Now I'll pass for sure!" I chirp.

He laughs. "If you pass, please tell me."


In total, I had to take the driving test FOUR TIMES in order to obtain my Japanese driver's license. Each attempt costs $22 USD, and just getting to and from the DMV (without a car) ended up costing around $50. You are only allowed to attempt the test once each day.

 Here are the reasons I failed:

  1. My first attempt. I turned a corner slightly too wide, and when I checked my blind spots before doing a lane change, the car swerved a bit. I was shocked and also totally embarrassed.
  2. Second attempt. I took the corner slightly too wide once again. I drove slightly too slowly. After this attempt, I walked out into the parking lot and skyped my mom/my boyfriend, sobbing. I am a child. Then I bought a cheeseburger and tried to think positive thoughts.
  3. Third attempt. The proctor stopped me at the first stop sign to tell me something in Japanese. I didn't understand. I asked him to repeat it. He said something else which I also didn't understand, and then was silent when I asked again. Thinking I failed, I spent the rest of the course not paying attention, completely freaking out. I rolled my tire over a shallow curb on the S curve portion. I pulled out into traffic, in front of a slow moving tractor, without seeing the tractor. In short, I was a complete mess. At the end, I asked the proctor what he had said at the stop sign portion. His reply was, "Oh, I just thought maybe you'd want to pull up a little closer to the line." OMG.
  4. Fourth attempt. I think word had spread at the DMV that there was a peppy foreigner who couldn't pass her damn test. Everyone spoke to me only in English all day, even the proctor (I didn't know they had an English speaking proctor?) and told me not to be nervous. I think it helped. My tire even hit a curb and they still passed me. I think it's a conspiracy.
When the proctor told me I had passed, I burst into tears and asked if he was joking. 

He said he wasn't. I garbled a thank you and ran inside, giving a thumbs up to every person I passed on the way to the counter.

Moral of the story-- get your driver's license BEFORE your permit expires. In total, I spent around $360 USD just to pass this stupid test. If I could have driven my car to the DMV, it probably would have cost about half that price.

Oh well. At least I know I earned it.



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